Guilty PleasuresWe turn the tables on one of the
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When we received one of these recently, we just couldn’t resist: we decided to play along with it. What follows is our chronicle of correspondence between Prince Jim Udu West and Theodore Fumpleroy. Do we not have better things to do with our time? Well, yes. Are we not ashamed of ourselves for stooping to their level and for trying to cause trouble? Let us remember that these money scammers are criminals, pure and simple. And hey, we have gotten a monthly article out of the charade. We won’t bother to enter “[sic]” designations all over the place; just know that this is all verbatim, typos, fractured English and all... From: PRINCE JIM UDU WEST [mailto:jim222@asurfer.com]
DEAR PARTNER, IN ORDER TO TRANSFER OUT ( TWENTY SIX MILLIONU.S.DOLLARS) FROM OUR BANK. I HAVE THE COURAGE TO LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND HONEST PERSON WHO WILL BE CAPABLE FOR THIS IMPORTANT TRANSACTION. BELIEVING THAT YOU WILL NEVER LET ME DOWN EITHER NOW OR IN FUTURE. I AM PRINCE JIM UDU WEST.THE AUDITOR
AND COMPUTING MANAGER UNITED BANK OF AFRICA
[U.B.]. THERE IS AN ACCOUNT OPENED IN
THIS BANK IN 1980 AND SINCE 1990 NOBODY
HAS OPERATED ON THIS ACCOUNT AGAIN, AFTER
GOING THROUGH SOME OLD FILES IN THE RECORDS,
I DISCOVERED THAT IF I DO NOT REMITT THIS
MONEY OUT URGENTELY,IT THE OWNER OF THIS ACCOUNT IS MR GAVIN
LADHAMS A FOREIGNER AND THE MANAGER OF
PETROL CHEMICAL SERVICE, A CHEMICAL ENGINEER
BY PROFFESSION AND HE DIED SINCE 1980.AND
THEN,SINCE 1990, NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT THIS
ACCOUNT OR ANYTHING CONCERNING IT, THE
ACCOUNT HAS NO OTHER BENEFICIARY AND MY
INVESTIGATION PROVED TO ME AS WELL THAT
HIS COMPANY DOES NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
THIS I WANT TO TRANSFER THIS MONEY INTO A
SAFE FOREIGN ACCOUNT ABROAD BUT I DON'T
KNOW ANY FOREIGNER, I AM ONLY CONTACTING
YOU AS A FOREIGNER BECAUSE THIS MONEY
CAN NOT BE APPROVED TO ANY LOCAL BANK
HERE BUT CAN ONLY BE APPROVED TO ANY FOREIGN
ACCOUNT BECAUSE THE MONEY IS U.S DOLLARS
AND THE FORMER YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON THAT I HAVE CONTACTED FOR THIS INVESTMENT FOR NOW. SO PLEASE REPLY URGENTLY. WHEN THE TRANSFER IS APPROVED AND PAYMENT SCHEDULE IS ALOCATED OVERSEAS,THROUGH THE OFFSHORE PAYING DELEGATE FOR FINAL CLEARANCE AND SIGNING OF THE PAYMENT REALEASE FORM BY THE BENEFICIARY, I WANT US TO SEE AT THE OVERSEA PAYING CLEARANCE OFFICE FACE TO FACE OR SIGNING OF THE ORIGINAL BINDDING AGREEMENT TO BIND US TOGETHER SO THAT,WE CAN RECEIVE THIS MONEY INTO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT OR ANY ACCOUNT OF YOUR CHOICE WHERE THE FUND WILL BE REMITTED. I NEED YOUR CO-OPERATION TO MAKE THIS
WORK FINE, BECAUSE THE MANAGEMENT IS READY
TO APPROVE THIS PAYMENT TO ANY FOREIGNER
WHO HAS THE CORRECT INFORMATION TO THIS
ACCOUNT,WHICH I WILL I WILL USE MY POSITION AND INFLUENCE
ON OTHER STAFFS TO EFFECT THE LEGAL APPROVALS
AND ONWARD TRANSFER OF THIS MONEY TO YOUR
ACCOUNT WITH APPROPRIATE CLEARANCE FROM
FOREIGN PAYMENT DEPARTMENT. WITH ASSURANCE
THAT THIS MONEY WILL BE INTACT PENDING
MY PHYSICAL ARRIVAL TO YOUR COUNTRY FOR
THE SHARING AT THE CONCLUSION OF THIS INVESTMENT, YOU WILL BE GIVEN 50% OF THE TOTAL AMOUNT. I AM WAITING FOR YOU URGENT RESPONS. THANK Date: Sat, 15 May 2004 07:59:09 -0700
(PDT) Dear Prince West -- From: "prince jim udu west" <jim_200@mail8.com> Dear Theodore Fumpleroy. What I mean here is, can I trust you?
you know the amount involved and this
is my life. If I can trust, then lets
proceed with the actualising of the transaction.
2: With the account information, I will start to process the Foreign Payment Approval in your favour from the Federal Ministry of Finance. 3: Once the fund is approved for transfer in your favour, you as the foreign beneficiary will be required to sign the Final Fund Release Order in person in the presence of the management of the bank here. Send to me as a matter of urgency the
underlisted to Further details awaits your urgent response. Please
you should send your details to me as
soon as you get this mail so that i will
call you to explain everything to
you. Please always reply me with this new
email address as it is very confidential
to me. NOTE:Send your informations to
me as soon as you. Date: Tue, 18 May 2004 06:47:29 -0700
(PDT) Good morning, Prince Jim! [Normally, the scammers take a long and circuitous route to the point where they tell you what funds to send; we wanted to cut right to the chase and so we treated the notion of paying a fee as trivial.] Date: Wed, 19 May 2004 04:22:25 -0700
(PDT) DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy, THANKS FOR THE EMAIL SENT TO ME, AS I WAS HAPPY HEARING FROM YOU, NOW, AS HAVING RECEIVED YOUR FULL DETAILS AS ASKED, I WILL BE MOVING FOR THE APPLICATION OF CLAIMS ON YOUR BEHALF WITH THE CONCERNED QUATERS [??] AS TO SEEK FOR THE APPROVALS TO YOUR BEHALF, PLEASE CALL ME FOR US TO TALK MORE, AS REGARDS TO THIS TRANSFER, WHICH WE SHALL ALL BENEFIT FROM. FINALLY, PLEASE BE ASSURED THAT THIS TRANSFER IS LEGAL AND RISK FREE, AS WE WILL HAVE NO PROBLEM, AS ALL I NEED FROM YOU, IS TO FOLLOW MY DIRECTIONS, AS TO A FREE AND SAFE TRANSFER, AS WITH MY POSITION HERE, WE WILL HAVE NO PROBLEM. AS TO EXPENSES, I WOULD NOT KNOW, BUT I KNOW THAT IT WILL NOT COST MUCH, PLEASE CALL ME AS SOON AS THIS MAIL IS RECEIVED. THANKS, Date: Fri, 21 May 2004 00:08:38 -0700
(PDT) Hello, Prince -- Date: Fri, 21 May 2004 08:19:41 -0700
(PDT) DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy , THANKS FOR THE EMAIL SENT TO ME, AS I
WAS HAPPY HEARING FROM YOU, NOW, EVERY
OTHER FEES HAVE BEEN TAKEN CARE OF, AS
THE ONLY FEES NEEDED IS 8,900$, THEREFORE,
YOU SHOULD BE SENDING THIS IMMEDIATELY,
VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER, AS FOR
THE ATTORNEY TO COLLECT THE MONEY AND
MAKE THE STAMP DUTY FEES THANKS, Date: Fri, 21 May 2004 13:44:58 -0700
(PDT) Prince, I've got a better idea... [How far would he go with his scam? Could we dangle an additional carrot before him and get him on a thousand-mile journey? We tried to make it as enticing as possible.] Date: Sat, 22 May 2004 10:56:30 -0700
(PDT) DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy , THANKS FOR THE EMAIL SENT, ANYWAY, I AM BEGINGING TO SEE THAT YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS, AS TO HANDLE THIS DEAL, AS I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHAT AND YOUR SUGGESTION IS ALL ABOUT. I WILL STOP EVERY PROCESS, WHICH ARE BEEN DONE TO YOUR NAME, AS REGARDS TO THIS CLAIMS. THANKS, [Darn, maybe we went too far...] Date: Sat, 22 May 2004 21:02:11 -0700
(PDT) Date: Sun, 23 May 2004 07:32:37 -0700
(PDT) DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy , THANKS FOR THE EMAIL SENT TO ME, AS I WAS HAPPY HEARING FROM YOU, PLEASE, YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS A CLAIMS, WHICH HAS ALREADY BEEN APPLIED FOR THE APPROVALS ON YOUR BEHALF, WHICH WE ARE EXPECTING TO HAVE BY MONDAY, BEEN TOMORROW, WHICH AS SOON AS RECEIVED, A COPY WILL BE SENT TO YOU, WHILE THE ORIGINALS SENT TO THE BANK ON YOUR BEHALF. SECONDLY, YOU SHOULD AS WELL UNDERSTAND THAT I CANNOT TRAVEL OUT, AS I HAVE TO BE HERE, AND ENSURE THAT THIS FUNDS IS WIRED OUT TO YOUR ACCOUNT, BEFORE TRAVELLING, THEREFORE, AS SOON AS WE ARE ABLE TO GET THE APPROVALS BY TOMORROW, YOU WILL BE SENDING THE MONEY IMMEDIATELY VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER, AS TO MAKE THE PAYMENT FOR THE FEES REMAINING, FOR THE FINAL ENDORSEMENT TO BE RECEIVED, AS FOR THE FUNDS TO BE WIRED OUT OUTRIGHTLY. THANKS, Date: Sun, 23 May 2004 11:46:23 -0700 (PDT) Okay. I like my idea better but I guess
we'll do it your way. Tell me where to
send the Western Union telegram and how
much to send and we'll take care of it
this week. Date: Mon, 24 May 2004 03:58:15 -0700
(PDT) DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy, THANKS FOR THE EMAIL SENT TO ME, NOW, THE APPROVALS HAVE BEEN RECEIVED, AS IT IS WITH ME NOW, AS ALREADY THE ORIGINALS HAVE BEEN SENT TO THE BANK ON YOUR BEHALF, NOW, THE FEES REMAINING IS $8,900, AND YOU SHOULD SEND IT IMMEDIATELY VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER WITH THE NAME AS GIVEN BY THE ATTORNEY: BARRISTER UDEICHI LAWRENCE, PLEASE GO THE WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER, AND SEND THE MONEY, AND SEND THE CONTROL NUMBER/TEST QUESTIONS OF THE MONEY SENT. HAVE A NICE DAY. PRINCE JIM. Date: Mon, 24 May 2004 09:42:24 -0700
(PDT) Two questions, Prince: Theodore Date: Tue, 25 May 2004 02:56:23 -0700
(PDT) DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy , THANKS FOR THE EMAIL SENT TO ME, AS I WAS HAPPY HEARING FROM YOU, WELL, YOU ARE FREE TO SEND THE MONEY TO ME, BUT LIKE YOU KNOW THAT I CONTRACTED AN ATTORNEY WHO IS REPRESENTING YOU HERE, AS TO HANDLE THIS CLAIMS, AND HE IS THE ONE WHO WILL BE MAKING THE PAYMENT ON YOUR BEHALF, BESIDES, WHOEVER THE MONEY IS BEEN SENT TO , DOES NOT MATTER, THEREFORE, PLEASE SEND IT TO THE ATTORNEY AS ASKED, FOR THIS REMAINIGN FEES TO EB PAID, FOR THIS FINAL ENDORSEMENT TO BE RECEIVED. HAVE A NICE DAY. PRINCE JIM. Date: Tue, 25 May 2004 14:26:48 -0700 (PDT) [No response for over a day; sounds like a good time to panic...]
Prince, are you able to send me a photo? I'm waiting anxiously...
[Still no response. Better change the tone...] Date: Thu, 27 May 2004 07:57:37 -0700 (PDT) Prince, did I scare you away with my request for a photograph?
It's okay if you don't have a photo to send me. Please don't stop
writing me just because of that. Instead, maybe you can just tell
me a bit about yourself, and if you want, I'll still send you a
photo. You know, $8,900 is a lot of money to spend on someone you
just met, and I just want to know a bit more about the person I'm
doing business with. That's all... Date: Thu, 27 May 2004 10:52:37 -0700 (PDT) DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy , THANKS, AS I ONCEMORE ATTACH HERE MY INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT, AND
WHEREBY IT IS NOT OKAY BY YOU, THEN, I WILL HAVE TO LOOK FOR A RELIABLE
PERSON TO CONTINUE THIS TRANSFER, AND HAVE YOUR SHARE TAKEN, AS
I AM BEGINING TO SEE THAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO HELP OUT IN HAVE A NICE DAY. [Is he beginning to lose patience? Can't quite tell — wonder how much further we can string him out...] Date: Thu, 27 May 2004 20:40:36 -0700 (PDT) Not only am I totally excited about doing my part of the transfer,
I am sending you one of my favorite photos. It is really silly,
because I just won a jackpot of over $15,000 and then I wandered
off to the beach and started giving the money away to anyone I saw.
Would you like to see some PowerPoint slides that include photos
of my family, too? I have several of my Aunt Girdie and Uncle Dashpot,
and it's only a 12MB download. Can I please send them?? Date: Fri, 28 May 2004 04:12:45 -0700 (PDT) DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy , THANKS FOR THE EMAIL SENT TO ME, AND THE PHOTOS SENT, NOW, PLEASE SEND THE MONEY FOR THE STAMP FEES, FOR THIS TO BE CONCLUDED, FOR THIS FUNDS TO BE WIREDOUT. HAVE A NICE DAY. PRINCE JIM. [Better start getting down to business now...] Date: Fri, 28 May 2004 07:59:17 -0700 (PDT) Dear Prince -- Date: Sun, 30 May 2004 04:56:05 -0700 (PDT) THANKS FOR THE EMAIL SENT, NOW, TO SEND WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER, YOU DO NOT NEED SUCH DETAILS, AS ALL YOU NED IS THE NAME AND ADDRESS/COUNTRY, WHERE THE MONEY WILL BE PICKED. PLEASE, I DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING, BUT IF YOU WANT THE MONEY TO BE SENT BY ACCOUNT, THAT IS BANKTOBANK, THEN, I CAN SEND TO YOU AN OFFSHORE ACCOUNT, FRO YOU TO SEND THE MONEY THERE IMMEDIATELY, AND SEND THE TRANSFER SLIP, AS SOON AS THE MONEY IS SENT. HAVE A NICE DAY. PRINCE JIM. I ALSWAYS GET CONFUSED, THAT YOU COMPLAIN THAT MY PHONE IS NOT WORKING, PLEASE WHEREBY YOU CAN'T GET ME, SEND ME YOURS, AS TO CALL YOU, AND TALK WITH YOU. [The more experienced reverse-scammers set up temporary telephone numbers so that they can actually talk to the scammers. We didn’t quite have the nerve to try that, so we will have to continue to sidestep any requests to communicate by telephone.] Date: Mon, 31 May 2004 21:24:35 -0700 (PDT) Prince, the best number to reach me on is 323-663-8301. I will
make the Western Union transfer tomorrow when the banks open. Today
is a holiday... [Thank you once again, Round Table Pizza parlor...] Date: Tue, 1 Jun 2004 06:47:18 -0700 (PDT) DEAR Theodore, THANKS, AS I JUST CALLED THE LINE, WHICH WAS RINGIN NO REPLY, PLEASE CALL ME, AND SEND THE DETAILS OF THE MONEY SENT, AS SOON AS IT IS WIRED VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER. THANKS, Date: Tue, 1 Jun 2004 09:39:47 -0700 (PDT) Prince, it's done! Date: Tue, 1 Jun 2004 09:45:18 -0700 (PDT) DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy , SEND THE CONTROL NUMBER/TEST QUESTIONS PLEASE IF THIS THANKS, [Hmm, having visited WesternUnion.com for the first time, we do see references to a control number and to a test question. We were tempted to "mistakenly" send him .89 instead of $8,900, but we would have to divulge our real identity (can't open a Western Union account with a fake name like you can a Yahoo email account), not to mention pay a $15 fee.] Date: Wed, 2 Jun 2004 00:00:36 -0700 (PDT) I sent the funds to the BARRISTER UDEICHI LAWRENCE, using the address you gave me. I was given the following Money Transfer Control Number: It seemed to go just fine from my end. Please let me know when
we can begin discussing my opening a pig farming business there
in your country and naming you the general manager. Date: Wed, 2 Jun 2004 03:34:11 -0700 (PDT) DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy , THANKS AGAIN, WELL, I HAVE SEEN THAT YOU ARE A HOPELESS MAN, AND A MAD MAN, AS YOU ARE NOT A SERIOUS MAN. F--- OUT IMMEDIATELY. THANKS, [Laughing Out Loud! First he thanks us, then cusses at us, and then he thanks us again. So we might be at the end of our rope here...] Date: Wed, 2 Jun 2004 06:36:59 -0700 (PDT) What are you talking about? I have been completely earnest and
sincere with you from the beginning. Why are you using profanity
against me now? What have I done to anger you? [We'll see if some hurt feelings get a bit of mileage...] Date: Wed, 2 Jun 2004 07:54:58 -0700 (PDT) DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy , THANKS FOR THE EMAIL SENT, AS ANYWAY, I WAS NOT HAPPY ON RECEIVING THE EMAIL SENT TO ME BEFORE, THAT WAS WHY I TALKED THAT WAY, AS THE WHOLE SITUATION, SEEMS THAT WE HAVE BEEN PLAYING. NOW, THE DETAILS GIVEN WHICH IS : Money Transfer Control Number: WJ5-742-XBV-904 What is your favorite sport? Tennis THIS IS INCORRECT, AS CONTROL NUMBER MUST BE IN FIGURES, AND IT MUST BE TEN DIGIT NUMBERS, THEREFORE, EITHER SCAN THE SLIP OF THE WESTERN UNION MONEY SENT, OR LOOK FOR THE REAL CONTROL NUMBER, AND SEND, FOR THIS TO BE FINALIZED IMMEDIATELY. THANKS, ALSO, I WILL LIKE TO TALK WITH YOU OVER THE PHONE PLEASE, [Still got him going. Might as well play the hurt feelings card a bit longer...] Date: Wed, 2 Jun 2004 09:34:30 -0700 (PDT) This whole situation has become very distressing to me. Prince,
you should take a moment and see it through my eyes: Date: Wed, 2 Jun 2004 12:20:01 -0700 (PDT) DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy , THANKS FOR THE DETAILED EMAIL SENT TO ME, AS I HAVE ALREADY APPOLIGIZED THE WAY I SOUNDED TO YOU, AS IT IS DUE TO THE PRESSURE ON ME. NOW, I AGREE TO ALL YOUR BUSINESS, BUT MY MAJOR AIM NOW, IS FOR
THE FUNDS TO BE WIRED OUT, AFTER WHICH, WE WILL NOW HAVE A ROUND
TABLE DISCUSSION, ON HOW BEST AND ALL THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. HAVE A NICE DAY. Date: Wed, 2 Jun 2004 21:20:02 -0700 (PDT) I'm no longer 100% certain that this is the right thing to do. I conduct business in order to establish relationships, not to make money. You don't seem to value our relationship as much as you value my money...at least that's the way it feels to me now. Now I wonder if it wouldn't be better for me to find some other investment to spend my $55,000 on. An investment that is worthy of my time and attention and that can be conducted with mutual respect. Either that or you'll need to convince me that you're that person. Right now, Prince Jim, I'm not so sure... [This is now like holding a feather in your hand—it's about to blow away any minute now...] [No response for almost 36 hours...] Date: Wed, 3 Jun 2004 23:16:31 -0700 (PDT) DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy , THANKS FOR THE DETAILED EMAIL SENT TO ME, AND I WILL AGAIN ALREADY APOLIGIZE TO YOU FOR THE PRESSURE TO ME. PLEASE GIVE US ONE MORE CHANCE. I PROMISE TO VALUE FOR BESIDES YOUR MONEY. THIS PAYMENT HAS BEEN THE WORK OF MY ENTIRE LIFE AND IT HAS BEEN MUCH PRESSURE. PLEASE THINK OF HOW YOU CAN BEST WORK TO ME AND I WILL BEHAVE BETTER. HAVE A NICE DAY. [This really feels like the end of the line. I wonder if we should succumb to the guiltiest pleasure of them all...] [Left him hanging all of Thursday. I think it's time...] Date: Fri, 4 Jun 2004 20:33:02 -0700 (PDT) Prince, thanks for your email. As you suggested, I have been thinking about how I can best work with you, and I think I know exactly what that might be. Furthermore, I have a fair amount of experience with it, because actually, I've been working you for the past two weeks. The amazing thing is that you really and truly thought that I had even the slightest notion of paying you one lousy penny. That's hysterical! It was pretty funny the path I led you down and the way in which I made a total fool out of you. But really, Prince, it's even funnier that you actually thought you were going to receive money from me. Imagine that...I, a law-abiding citizen, paying you, an obvious fraud and swindler. And I'll tell you what is even funnier, Prince Jim. I wish I could see the look on Barrister Udeichi Lawrence's face when the African division of the Federal Bureau of Investigation shows up at his doorstep with international extradition papers and an arrest warrant. After all, he didn't do anything wrong; you just used his name as the person to receive the money. Unless...oh, wait a minute...that wouldn't be your real name, would it? It's not possible that you were so stupid as to use your real name as the recipient...no, nobody could be that dumb. Ha ha ha...well, that was a most delightful two weeks. Thank you very much for providing so much entertainment. Oh, and one more thing... Have a nice day... [Imagine our surprise upon discovering that the email account for prince_jim200@yahoo.com has been closed...] |
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